


Freedom

by Ahmose_Inarus



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahmose_Inarus/pseuds/Ahmose_Inarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are different in the year 2022. Things change... people change... and Spencer Reid is schizophrenic. But thanks to his friends, his FAMILY, he is still able to live his life outside of a sanitarium.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freedom

The alarm clock went off. From the pile of ruffled blankets, a long arm emerged, and a pale hand smacked the clock, then withdrew into the blankets again. A few minutes later, a cell phone buzzed on the side table.

“… RRGH.” Came the grunt from the pile of blankets. The call went to voicemail. The phone buzzed again. Again, it went unanswered, and went to voicemail. All was quiet for a few minutes. Then, a little box on the dressed let out a SQUAAAACK!!!!

“… Good morning, Charlie!!!” Sang out three female voices.

“AAH!!!” Yelped the man in the bed, and he bolted upright, eyes wide. He fumbled for his glasses and put them on, staring at the box that was now silent and waiting. And then, slowly, he smiled.

“Good morning, Angels.” He called.

“Mornin’ Pretty Boy!” Boomed the box on the dressed.

“Morning, Morgan.” The man called, chewing his lower lip and rocking back and forth a bit on the bed, staring around the room with a small smile. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” Came the cheers from the box. The man’s smile split into a grin, and his rocking stopped.

“The Big 4-0!!! Well done, kid!”

“Rossi?”

“We’re all here, Reid.” Garcia called. “JJ and Emily, and Morgan and Rossi and Hotch.”

“How are you doing, Reid?” Hotch asked. “Is today looking good?” Reid blinked and frowned slightly, nervously scratching his hair as his eyes darted around. He started rocking again and chewed his thumbnail, then rubbed his nose and started fidgeting with his hands.

“… they’re in the corner… watching me.” Reid said.

“… Can you see them, honey?” Garcia asked.

“No. No, but I can feel them. They’re there. They’re whispering.”

“Can you tell what they’re saying?” Morgan asked.

“… N-No.” Reid said, shaking his head even though they couldn’t see him.

“Are you going to be okay?” JJ asked. There was no response. “Spence?”

“… huh?” Reid asked, suddenly.

“I said, are you going to okay?”

“What? Oh! Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to the uh… the kitchen. Okay?”

“Sure. We’ll see you there.” Garcia said, and the little box turned off. Reid got out of bed and shuffled to the door.

It was his birthday. He was forty today. And that meant that it was almost two years ago that he had been medically discharged with full retirement benefits from the FBI. Two years since he had received his diagnosis. Two years since he had learned that he had developed schizophrenia.

He had, over the past year before then, begun to regress in his ability to handle social situations. He became as socially awkward as he had been in High School. And then came the anxiety and depression. He began to feel that everyone around him hated him… he began to grow frightened of people he didn’t know. And then came the voices. They weren’t disembodied voices in his head… he didn’t hallucinate people… but he began to have audio hallucinations of strangers around him whispering behind his back… whispering cruel words about him. 

And then, finally, Reid had snapped and exploded in anger, screaming furiously at a detective while on a case for calling him a freak… That was when the team began to fear for him… because the poor detective had never said a word.

Immediately on returning from the case, Hotch had ordered a psych eval. And that’s when it all came out.

Reid had wanted to die. That day, he had no intention of living to see 39, much less 40. But here he was. And he wasn’t hospitalized. That in itself was a miracle to him. 

When he had received his diagnosis, he had been devastated. He had fled the Bureau. When Hotch got the letter detailing the results of Reid’s evaluation, he and the team had gone straight to Reid’s apartment, frightened for the young man. They found him in his bedroom in his apartment with his gun to his head. That had been one of the worst moments of their lives. A frantic Morgan tried to talk Reid off of the ledge for fifteen minutes. Then Hotch tried, and JJ and Rossi… But then, a frantic Garcia burst in. Ignoring everyone, she had shoved past the others on the team (sending Hotch face first into the wall), and then just fell to her knees in the middle of Reid’s bedroom and begged him, sobbing. 

And he had put down the gun.

He had dropped it, and crawled across the floor to her, tears flooding down his own face. And then he crawled into her arms, curled up and they just cried together.  
The weeks that followed had been hard, and agonizing. But in all the darkness, there was a light. Reid’s therapist announced that she believed that Reid was a High Functioning Schizophrenic. Which meant that with the right help, and if he stayed on his medications… he wouldn’t have to be hospitalized. And so the team had leapt on this chance, and began to look into everything they could to do to keep him out of the hospitals and on his own.

One of the first things that they all learned was that relationships could make all the difference. Friends, family and loved ones, who created a circle of support, gave the patient something that they felt was worth living for. And the team had really risen to that. Especially Penelope Garcia. Seeing Spencer Reid ready to end his life had scared her to death. And she was ready to do anything she could to keep him alive, well… and free. And so she had gotten to work.

She helped Reid take on odd jobs. He wrote articles and essays for journals, had co-authored a Best Seller with David Rossi. No one had told Reid, but Rossi hadn’t taken a penny from the book… his half of the proceeds went into a Trust, with Rossi and Garcia as Joint Trustees. And with this, they made sure that Reid’s bills were paid… rent, electricity, phone, cell phone, cable and internet… Not that Reid used the internet. No… the thing that the internet was used for was for the screens in his living room and kitchen.

By the time Reid arrived in the kitchen, the scree was on, and it was showing the team all sitting in Rossi’s living room.

“There he is!” Morgan called, and the team cheered. Garcia, bless her, had set up a little network so that the team could video chat with Reid from work, or from home. Even Emily, who had left the BAU years back.

“Hi Uncle Spencer!” Came the chorus from two teenage boys.

“Hi J-Jack. Hi Henry.” Reid said, averting his eyes with a shy smile and scratching his head, then chewing his thumbnail.

“Don’t chew, Spencer.” Garcia said firmly, and Spencer lowered his hand and awkwardly swung it back and forth at his side, a sheepish smile on his face. Then he shuffled over to the coffee maker and poured himself a mug, adding in his creamer and sugar, stirring it. “Don’t forget your pills, honey.” Garcia said. Reid nodded, turning and reaching out to a little plastic container with fourteen little compartments, each labeled with a day of the week and an AM or PM on it. Reid went through his little ritual of tapping each empty compartment before opening the next one, taking out his pills and swallowing them down.

“What are you having for breakfast?” Hotch asked kindly. Reid seemed less organized this morning, and on days like this, he needed to be reminded to eat breakfast. Even on his bad days he was good about eating lunch and dinner, but he often needed to be reminded to eat breakfast.

“There’s something special for you in the freezer.” JJ said. Reid turned and blinked at the screen, then smiled and went to the freezer. He opened it.

“… You went shopping for me!” He announced, turning and grinning at the screen.

“Yesterday, while you were napping. You were RAELLY tired. We got you Belgian waffles. Your favorite.” JJ nodded. “And there’s fresh fruit in the fridge.”

And the team watched, smiling, as Reid began to make his breakfast. He chattered away happily, listing the nutritional benefits of everything that he was using to make said breakfast, and the team just smiled and listened, savoring moments like this when he sounded like the Spencer Reid they had all worked with.

“Reid.” Hotch said, as Reid sat down to eat. “We have to go. We have a case. But Garcia arranged for someone else to help us in her place today so that she can spend the day with you. Is that okay?”

They all waited hopefully for an answer. Sometimes, Reid wasn’t good with having company. Especially in the morning… hence the birthday greeting over the computer screens.

“Y-Yeah.” Reid nodded after a moment, scratching his head, rubbing his nose and scratching his head again before beginning to tap his fingers on the table top. “That sounds nice…” then he winced and shot an anxious glance at the corner of the kitchen before smiling at the screen again.

“We can go out and have lunch…” Garcia said, and Reid’s face fell slightly. The team knew he didn’t like to go out. When he was out and about, his anxiety was higher, and that’s when he tended to have his auditory hallucinations of people sneering cruel words at him. And that would upset him and lead to depression.

“We can go to the bookstore.” Garcia added. “The team have all chipped in and we got you a REALLY big gift card!” Immediately, Reid’s fallen face lifted again. His eyes were bright and his grin was wide.

“REALLY?!” He gasped, and the team let out a chorus of affirmitives. “I’ll get dressed right now!” And he rose from the table.

“Spencer Reid, you sit down and finish your breakfast RIGHT NOW!!!” Garcia thundered. Reid froze, eyes wide, and looked down. He had hardly touched the breakfast he had been all excited about, and had been about to abandon. Slowly, with a guilty look, he sat down and began eating again. “There you go.” Garcia cooed.

When Reid got excited, it was much easier for him to forget the simple things. More than once, Reid had been excited about the prospect of going somewhere special, and had run out of his apartment to meet his ride, usually Morgan, JJ or Garcia… they had each, more than once, had to send Spencer back inside to put on shoes. One time, Morgan had picked Reid up and the boy had been so excited, he had run outside wearing a tie, his Converse, and his pajamas. Reid had been very embarrassed by that. Morgan had found it adorably funny. 

Now, when they knew he was excited, the team would go to Reid’s door to get him to make sure he was fully dressed, and that he didn’t forget to lock his front door and bring his keys. Fortunately, Reid didn’t have these problems for just running his errands, like going to the grocery store. Only an exciting outing with the people he loved could get him that disorganized.

“Finish your breakfast, and then get dressed.” Garcia told him. “I’ll be there in one hour, okay?”

“Okay.” Reid nodded.

“Set your timer, honey.” Garcia reminded him, gently. Already, Reid’s excitement was showing… Reid pulled out his iPhone, which he NEVER went anywhere without, and held down the button until it beeped.

“Set timer for one hour.” He told the device.

-Your timer is set for one hour- the phone responded.

“See you then, Butter Cream!” Garcia waved, and then with a chorus of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”s from the team, the screen went to a screensaver, and soothing classical music began to play. Reid smiled. Garcia had set that up, too, and rigged it to respond to Reid’s voice command, but she could also turn on the music from her computer. She also had it on a timer. Every night at nine pm, a certain musical sequence would begin. And Reid performed his bed time ritual to the music, finally sliding in bed at ten pm on the dot. And then, the lights in the room would dim, but not completely go out, and the system would begin to play soothing music over a background of nature sounds. It played for two hours, fading out around midnight. By that time, Reid had been soothed to sleep.

If at any point during the night, Reid were to wake and get out of bed, the motion sensor would start the music again, helping him to drift off to sleep after a trip to the bathroom. Should the motion sensor not register Reid returning to bed after ten minutes, it would alert Garcia, who would call to make sure everything was okay. Reid still had nightmares, but generally they only bothered him badly once or twice a month. When Reid was still adjusting to his medications, it would happen a couple times a week. 

Yes, he had made great progress.

You have forty five minutes left on your timer. Reid’s phone suddenly announced. Reid blinked and shook his head, then wolfed down the rest of his breakfast and set his plate in the sink, and turned to get ready.

“Ah ah!” Came Garcia’s voice from the sink, and Reid winced. “You can’t live in a mess! Wash your dish!” Reid groaned and returned to the sink and washed his dish, glaring at the little motion sensor there, too. They were all over his apartment. Sometimes they drove him CRAZY. But at the same time, they helped him to remember to do things that he may otherwise forget. And these things HAD to be done if he wanted to continue living on his own without an at-home nurse, or even have to go to a hospital. And every time he got mad at the motion sensors that reminded him to do things in Garcia’s voice, that’s what he thought of. This… or a hospital. 

Reid washed his dish and put it into the dishwasher, then scurried off to the bedroom to get dressed. He pulled on a pair of black slacks and an eggplant colored button up shirt, tapping each button with a fingertip once they were done up, and then he tucked his shirt in and put on his belt. Then he grabbed a black tie and put it on, then hopped about the bedroom tugging on a Santa Clause sock onto his left foot, and a gray and yellow striped sock on the right. Then he trotted into the bathroom and picked up his electric razor (he wasn’t allowed to keep razor blades around anymore) and he shaved off the light stubble that had come in on his chin, brushed his hair (he was due for a haircut again) and brushed his teeth, gargling his mouth wash. Then he put on a little bit of cologne, and inspected himself in the mirror.

“What the…?” He murmured, frowning and leaning over the sink, staring at himself. Then he reached up and ran his fingers over his hair, before letting out a soft puff of air in amusement. “My first gray hair…” He mused, now grinning. “Can’t WAIT to tell Emily…” He muttered, talking to himself. “She got HER first one at thirty two!” Then he grinned and sang softly to himself, “Happy birthday to me!” Then he relieved himself, jumped when he passed the motion sensor and Garcia’s voice screeched “WASH YOUR HANDS!” and then scuttled back to the sink to do just that, eyes wide as if the woman had been standing there and scolding him personally.

You have thirty minutes left on your timer. His phone announced from his pocket. Reid nodded to himself and left the bathroom, turning out the light to avoid getting screamed at again. Then he made his way into his living room. He sat down at a little desk in the corner, picked up a pen and began to write.

Dear Mom

Well, I’m forty years old today. The team woke me up this morning to wish me a Happy Birthday. They were all gathered at Rossi’s house. Even Emily was there! Henry and Jack are SO big now! Jack is looking more and more like his dad every day. And it was on video, so I’m not sure, but Henry looks like he’s having a growth spurt.

Garcia’s coming over in a little bit. She’s going to take me to the book store and then out to lunch! At first I was nervous, but more and more I’m getting the feeling that it’s going to be a good day. I wish you were here to share it with me. I miss you so much.

Love always,

Spencer

When Reid finished the letter, he sealed it into an envelope and wrote ‘Diana Reid’ on it, then turned and carried it out to his patio. He waited a moment until a gust of wind blew past. And then, with a nod, he set the letter into a metal tray, picked up a box of matches (that no one knew he had) and lit one. He held it to the corner of the letter and watched as it caught fire.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Came a shriek. Reid jumped and whirled, and stared at Garcia. She was staring at the burning letter. “Why do you have matches?! What are you burning?! What are—“ But then she trailed off as she stared at the name on the envelope. “Your mom?” She asked.

“I still write to her every day.” Reid said, smiling down at Garcia. They watched as ashes began to drift away on the wind. “Even on my bad days. I miss her.” He sighed, scratching his head, rubbing his nose, and chewing his thumb nail. Garcia automatically pulled his hand away from his mouth. Reid began to chew his lower lip instead.

“… I know you do.” Garcia whispered, fighting back tears. “You’ve been doing this… every day?”

“Every day. I didn’t stop just because she… I’m still sad she’s gone… but…. I’m glad that she… she didn’t have to be here for my… diagnosis. She would have blamed herself.” Reid said, smiling as Garcia’s fingers slipped into his hand and held on tightly. “I’m glad that the last time she saw me, I was healthy, happy and successful.”

“Oh, Reid…” Garcia moaned. She looked up at him. “You still ARE!” Reid looked down at her. “You’re a GREAT success! You’re taking your medications and living and functioning on your own!”

“I dunno.” Reid said with a wry grin. He scratched his head, rubbed his nose, and glanced around nervously, as if expecting to find someone spying on him on his patio. “You’ve yelled at me twice in the last half hour.” Garcia blinked, and then smiled when she realized what he was talking about.

“What about?” She asked.

“Washing my dish and washing my hands after going to the bathroom.” 

“EW!!! REID!!! You didn’t wash your HANDS?!” Garcia squealed, jerking her hand out of his. Reid laughed. It was a carefree, happy laugh, and it made the woman’s heart sing.

“I did! AFTER you reminded me!”

“I KNEW I needed to add that reminder in your bathroom.”

“It’s weird having you yelling at me in the bathroom.” Reid snorted. Scratch head, rub nose, chew thumbnail.

“Weird, but necessary, apparently. Stop chewing.” Garcia snorted, and Reid chuckled, taking his thumb from his mouth. Then they both turned and looked down at the little metal tray. The last of the letter was being devoured, and a moment later, the flames sputtered and went out, having nothing more to consume. They waited silently as the wind carried the last of the ashes away. Then, Reid let out a sigh and looked down at Garcia with a smile. She smiled back and hugged him tightly.

“Ready to go, Dr. Reid?” She asked.

“Ready.”

“No you’re not.”

“I’m not?”

“what are you missing?”

“… Oh. My shoes.” Reid mumbled, scratched his head, rubbed his nose, then flushed and hurried into the apartment. Garcia followed with an affectionate smile, closing the locking the patio door. Reid tugged on his shoes, then called out “P.G. Lights off!”

Lights off. Came a disembodied voice, and the lights in the apartment all turned off. Then Reid opened the front door to his apartment and Garcia stepped out. Reid followed, then held up a finger and spoke, in unison with the recording of Garcia’s voice, “don’t forget to lock your door and take your keys!” 

Garcia grinned and watched Reid locked his door, and shoved his keys into his pocket.

“Ready, birthday boy?” She asked.

“Ready!” Reid announced, and the pair linked arms and headed down the stairs and out into the world.

And it was thanks to help from his friends, but especially Penelope Garcia, that Reid could still enjoy the world…


End file.
